One of the things I find most charming about reading Catullus’ poetry is how very conversational and chatty he is in his poetry. Even when he’s obscene and he’s writing in meter, he comes across as colloquial. I can frequently imagine him talking to his friends. Catullus 15 is one such poem where it’s relatively easy to take his poem and adapt it to prose. This, though, isn’t one I would personally read with students. Sometimes friends say things, after all, that they don’t want other people to hear. Unless you’re Catullus, in which case, you turn it into a poem that people read for millennia.
My concern would be twofold. I’m not particularly comfortable with the end of the poem, which I confess to only understanding due to referencing a commentary and a couple of translations that make it more clear exactly what is going on. I had at first, well, wondered whether someone was being pelted with radishes and mullets… Not such a malum fatum… but that’s not entirely the case as the door Catullus references isn’t so much a literal one. Still, I wanted to adapt this one into a prose story for others who might like a little scaffolding to read the poem.
However, I can promise you that there’s no way I can bring myself to adapt Catullus 16. If you’d like to return to Catullus 14B, that link is here, otherwise, I expect to pick back up with Catullus 17, which may yet prove to be a trifle tricky, but not Catullus 16 tricky. That’s its own special category of trickiness.
Catullus 15: A Prose Adaptation
“Aurēlī,[1] amīce benigne, commendō tibi mē ac amōrēs meōs,”[2] Catullus dīcit.
Aurēlius rīdet, et rogat, “Quī amōrēs[3]tuī iam sunt?”
Catullus respondet, “Puer bonus est quem ego amō.”
Aurēlius nōn respondet, sed cōgitat. Catullus cōgitātiōnēs Aurēliī vidēre potest. Vexātur. Dīcit,
“Ignōscās, Aurēlī, veniam pudentem petō.”[4]
Aurēlius cōnfūsus est. Rogat, “Cūr veniam pudentem petis?[5] Nōnne tū puerum mihi commendās?[6] Nōnne haec est venia?[7] Quid est?”
Catullus dīcit, “Minimē. Haec est venia pudēns:[8] Petō ut puerum mihi cōnservēs.”[9]
Aurēlius rīdet, “Quid? Puerum tuum certē cōnservābō.”[10]
Catullus pergit, “Quicquam animō tuō cupīstī quod castum et integellum expeterēs?”[11]
Aurēlius iterum rīdet, “Ego nihil habeō quod castum expetere velim.”[12]
Catullus quoque rīdet, sed respondet, “Hoc certē est quod dīcō. Ego hunc puerum castum et integellum[13] volō quia eum cōnsērvāstī,[14] et nōn dīcō ā populō.”[15]
Aurēlius rogat, “Quid nī? Nōnne populum tū verēris?”[16]
Catullus cōgitat dē virīs et fēminīs ambulantibus in viīs et respondet, “Vērō nihil verēmur.”[17]
Aurēlius rogat, “Nihil?”[18]
Catullus respondet, “Cūr verēmur istōs[19] quī occupātī in rē suā sunt?[20] In platēā modo hūc modo illūc praetereunt.[21] Dē puerō meō nōn cōgitant.”
Catullus os Aurēliō īnspicit.
Catullus pergit, “Vērum ā tē metuō.”[22]
Aurēlius simulat sē esse attonitum. Exclāmat, “Egone? Cūr?”
Catullus respondet, “Tū! Ut dīxistī, tū nōn vīs habēre nihil quod est castum et integellum.[23] Dīcis tē posse cōnservāre[24] puerum, sed potesne cōnservāre[25] eum ā tē et pēne tuō?[26] Sciō pēnem tuum īnfēstum esse puerīs bonīs malīsque.[27] Movētō pēnem quantum vīs, quem tū quā lubet, ut lubet.”[28]
Aurēlius rīdet et rīdet et rīdet. Respondet, “Rēctē dīcis, amīce. Ubi penes mihi erit foris,[29] ego parātus sum.”[30]
Catullus pergit, “Sed, amīce, hunc ūnum puerum excipiō, ut putō pūdenter.” [31]
Aurēlius breviter cōgitat sed rīdēns respondet, “Ut putō, ego ūnum excipere[32]possum. Quid nī?”
Catullus tōtus gravis respondet, “Quod sī mēns mala furorque vēcors tē impulerit in tantam culpam,[33] scelestē,[34] ut nostrum caput īnsidiīs violandī puerum meum lacessās…[35] Ā![36] Ā tum tē miserum malīque fātī![37] Quam horribilis tibi erit! Tē, patente portā, attractīs pedibus, quem raphanīque mugīlēsque percurrent.”[38]
Aurēlius nōn respondet, sed rīdet.
Catullus frontem contrahit. Rogat, “Num raphanī mugīlēsque[39] tē dēlectant?”
Aurēlius tandem respondet, “Quem raphanī mugīlēsque[40] nōn dēlectant?”
[1] Aurelius, Catullus’ friend
[2] I entrust to you myself and my loves
[3] Your loves, i.e., your lover, beloved
[4] I ask a modest favor
[5] Are you asking a modest favor
[6] Aren’t you entrusting
[7] Favor
[8] Modest favor
[9] I ask that you guard my boy
[10] I will guard
[11] Have you ever wanted anything in your soul which you would desire chaste and unharmed?
[12] Which I might want to desire chaste
[13] This boy chaste and unharmed
[14] You guarded
[15] And not, I say, from the people
[16] Don’t you fear the people?
[17] We fear nothing, a poetic plural for a singular; we don’t fear them at all
[18] Nothing?
[19] Do we fear those
[20] Who are occupied in their own matters
[21] They pass by here and there on the street
[22] But rather, I fear, from you
[23] Nothing which is chaste and unharmed
[24] To guard
[25] To guard
[26] Your penis
[27] Your penis is hostile to good and bad boys
[28] Move your penis as much as you want, wherever it pleases you, as it pleases.
[29] When my penis is outside,
[30] I am prepared
[31] I exclude this one boy, I think, modestly; i.e., it’s a small request that he limit his proclivities by only one boy whom Catullus loves.
[32] To exclude one
[33] Because if a wicked mind and frenzied madness will have driven you into such a crime
[34] Scoundrel
[35] That you attack my head (me) with treason (of violating my boy)
[36] Ah!
[37] Ah, then, wretched you and your evil fate!
[38] With your door (not literal) spreading open, with your feet bound, radishes and mullets will run through you.
[39] Radishes and mullets
[40] Radishes and mullets
Catullus 15: In English Word Order
Aurēlī, commendō tibi mē ac meōs amōrēs, petō pudentem veniam, ut, sī quicquam cupīstī tuō animō, quod expeterēs castum et intellegum, cōnservēs pudīcē puerum mihi, nōn dīco ā populō—verēmur istōs nihil, quī occupātī in rē suā praetereunt in platēa modo hūc modo illūc—vērum metuō ā tē -que pēne tuō īnfestō bōnīs -que malīs puerīs. Moveto quem (penem) quā lubet, ut lubet, quantum tū vīs, ubi erit foris parātum: excipiō pudenter hunc ūnum, ut putō. Quod sī mala mēns -que vēcors furor impulerit in tantam culpam, sceleste, ut lacessās nostrum caput īnsidīis. Ā tum miserum tē malī -que fātī! (Te) quem -que raphanī -que mugīlēs percurrent attractīs pedibus patente portā.
Catullus 15: The Original Poem
Commendō tibi mē ac meōs amōrēs, Aurēlī. veniam petō pudentem, ut, sī quicquam animō tuō cupīstī, quod castum expeterēs et integellum, cōnservēs puerum mihi pudīcē, nōn dīcō ā populō—nihil verēmur istōs, quī in platēā modo hūc modo illūc in rē praetereunt suā occupātī— vērum ā tē metuō tuōque pēne īnfestō puerīs bonīs malīsque. Quem tū quā lubet, ut lubet movētō quantum vīs, ubi erit foris parātum: hunc ūnum excipiō, ut putō, pudenter. Quod sī tē mala mēns furorque vēcors in tantam impulerit, sceleste, culpam, ut nostrum īnsidiīs caput lacessās. Ā tum tē miserum malīque fātī! quem attractīs pedibus patente portā percurrent raphanīque mugīlēsque.
The image for this title page comes from the British Library’s catalogue of illuminated manuscripts. I am grateful that the image is dedicated to the public domain. I have done minor photoshop editing to clarify the image, crop it, and add a heading for the poem.
